Navigating Motherhood Burnout and the Myth of Having It All Together

Our parents did the best they could with the resources and knowledge they had to protect and provide for us as children, often navigating the complexities of life with a determination that was both admirable and, at times, limiting. They faced their own challenges, shaped by the circumstances of their upbringing and the societal expectations of their time. For me, part of that protection meant not only maintaining composure but also creating an illusion—a carefully curated façade—that life was a beautiful tapestry woven with rainbows, butterflies, and cute little bunnies. This illusion was a shield against the harsh realities that sometimes lurked just beneath the surface, realities that I was not yet ready to comprehend. I was raised to believe that if I diligently followed the rulebook laid out before me—get a good education, secure a stable job, find a partner, get married, buy a house and a car, and then have children—everything would magically fall into place, as if life were a perfectly scripted play with a guaranteed happy ending. This blueprint for success was instilled in me through countless conversations, subtle nudges, and the palpable expectations that hung in the air like a cloud. It was a narrative that suggested that happiness was a linear journey, one that could be achieved by ticking off boxes on a checklist. However, as I grew older and began to navigate the complexities of adulthood, I found myself questioning this narrative. Life, as I soon discovered, was not merely a series of steps leading to an ultimate destination. It was filled with unexpected twists and turns, moments of joy interspersed with periods of struggle, and the realization that the pursuit of happiness is often fraught with uncertainty. The well-intentioned teachings of my parents, while rooted in love, sometimes felt like a double-edged sword, leaving me grappling with the disparity between expectation and reality. In reflecting on my upbringing, I recognize that the protective instincts of my parents were driven by a desire to ensure my safety and well-being. Yet, the world is far more nuanced than the idyllic picture they painted. I have come to understand that embracing the complexities of life—acknowledging the shadows alongside the light—is essential for genuine growth and fulfillment. My journey has become one of redefining success on my own terms, learning to appreciate the beauty in imperfection, and understanding that the path to happiness is not a straight line but rather a winding road filled with lessons, resilience, and, ultimately, a deeper connection to my true self.

So imagine how out of place I felt when I grew up and realized that adulthood is no joke! And imagine how shocked I was to learn that my parents didn’t have it all together either—they faced struggles, made sacrifices, and wrestled with life behind closed doors. But in their effort to protect me, they kept a lot hidden, and honestly, I believe some of those experiences could have helped shape and prepare me for the real world.

Don’t get me wrong—now that I’m a parent, I understand the delicate dance of deciding what to share with our children, when, and how. Is it even necessary for them to know? And if so, what’s the age-appropriate way to say it?

These constant questions—along with the daily demands of parenting—can lead to mental and physical overload or exhaustion, commonly known as burnout. And while dads, father figures, and non-birthing parents definitely experience burnout too (I see you—we may have something for you soon!), today is for the moms. The mothers, mother figures, and birthing persons—because research shows we often carry the “motherload” (no pun intended) of mental and emotional labor in the household.

We’re expected—and sometimes we pressure ourselves—to smile and be grateful while somehow maintaining our pre-mom bodies. Heaven forbid we ask for help, because that might be seen as an indictment on our capability or strength. But strength doesn’t mean doing it all alone.

We wear multiple hats: chef, organizer, nurse, chauffeur, referee (if you have multiple kids—you know), and so much more. Nurturing comes naturally to us, but… does it have to come at our own expense?

Let me remind you: you don’t have to do this alone.You deserve rest. You deserve care. You deserve to be nurtured too.You can pour into your family and pour into yourself.

Think about the way we cradle and soothe our little ones when they’re hurt—now I invite you to offer that same tenderness to yourself.

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of wisdom.

Join us in our virtual maternal support group—a safe space where we laugh, cry, share, and learn with other moms whose lives may mirror your own. Come be seen, supported, and reminded that you are never alone in this journey.

If you'd like to join a community of other moms struggling and finding support with each other, give us a call 302-292-1334.